It's been eleven days since my last entry. I got down on myself at first for not keeping a more consistent record of the process out here, but I came to realize that I've been so immersed in the process and really wasn't able to step outside of it until now. Today is the last day of the first two weeks and we have all come so far and worked so hard. Innumerable discoveries have been made, and new fathoms have been reached.
Watching each of the actresses move into their characters and discover that core of who they are is like peeking in on a small miracle in the making; it's like watching someone perform a real magic spell right before your eyes - it's that remarkable. I have experienced such acute joy in being present at that moment when an actor discovers a core truth about their character; they find it, realize it and feel it, and often it is overwhelming. There are aspects of these characters that are simply unlikeable, and to find that center is sometimes painful - to uncover that pain, that raw fragility, that is the main purpose behind a character's actions, and to embrace and experience it is a grueling, stinging, and often unpalatable thing. Yet in that unpleasantness is the magic and joy of transformation. What makes these moments even more stunning is that you don't necessarily see them coming. All the elements are right and *click* - magic happens. To call this process an act of magic is bromidic at most, but after observing it, I concede there is no other way to define it. The clichéd analogy is enduring. I am witnessing something rare and singular, and there's no acting class that can really show that: it's part of the rehearsal process, and I'm lucky to be a part of it.
This is the journey of the actor. This is the process of the actor who is supported by really good writing and really good directing. Judy has created such a safe environment in which these actors can step out and try anything, and they do. I admit it is with a slight whisper of envy that I write this; I don't think I'd ever had material this good to work on as an actor, and if I did, say, in college, I certainly didn't have the faculties as an actor to really appreciate it. As I further my process as a director, I become a better actor - the process suddenly becomes reciprocal!
We have run through the show several times now, and today is our last day in the rehearsal space. We have the luxury of moving onto the stage a week early, before tech. We have time to learn how the set moves, use the costumes, sound, some lighting, etc. The drummer, Michael, is here as well, so the orchestra is starting to fill out. The elements are being added slowly, one by one, so as not to be heaped upon the actors all at once on the first day of tech next week. Since the actors in this piece are onstage all the time, facilitating scene changes, set changes, their own costume changes - again: all on stage - it is so wise to add elements little by little. They are at times still overwhelmed by the demands of this show, but at least now they're being inundated in increments!
Tomorrow's the day off, and I think it's a VANITIES day at Disneyland!
More later.
